I want a friend who will dress up in pajamas with me, take lots of photos and post the only decent one, drink a lot of wine and will go on drunken adventures with me, dance to Witch House, converse about the unicorns of the elvish monk festivals and bitch about people who post stupid shit on Facebook.
I miss my best friend so much and even though the love that i have been embraced with in this past year is outstanding, I miss having another half.
I am still in the process of making a new Tumblr whilst having an internal debate against the more lazier side of myself as to why I should. I suppose there’s a degree of sentimental value in viewing old write ups, gaining nostalgic perspective into our mind frames at one point in time. Somehow that seems to hold some weight, something worth something. Additionally, my memory slips by like an intoxicated one night stand and I get a thrill by recalling special moments, attempting to put myself back into the shoes of the person I was at that point and understand the thought process. I sometimes view my posts as another person posting, in which i find it easier to analyze and depict my own justifications. But then i freak out a little and start to dislike the person behind the text. Even within this post there are elements of self-debate. I am forever arguing against my intuition. I suppose i am terrified of time; the inevitability of change, slow and irritable yet monumental and fantastic. I am caught between to care, or not to care.
This is the end of Tumblr. I’ve come to a point where i don’t care to update, write about my day, i’ve lost track. I went back through pages and pages of letters and found that this page was created to track my thoughts when I was in a very dark, depressive state of being. I think i needed something to vent to, an excuse to put my thoughts into some sort of sentence on a page so perhaps visually I could get some sort of insight into the destruction, but it was He that was able to take me out of that place, so I think once again, it is time to start a new phase, a new page where i update less regularly but perhaps of more value and depth. In saying that, i may not make a new Tumblr. I don’t like the amount of RL people that have somehow found my page and not taken the hint when there’s no follow back (unless i missed something, which is also quite possible when you’ve been smoking weed early every day for the past how-ever many years). Anyway, i have enjoyed the small journey once again (somehow the people i follow seem to have a sentimental value- maybe it is through viewing your posts that inevitably i am following your lives, a piece of your day, an emotion throughout the 24 one endures until the next, and i learn to care to whatever degree that may be). I will be sure to again follow those blogs who i adore, or people whom i care for in this virtual reality. Thank you all for your reblogs (not that they really mean anything), your likes on my raging comments/ odd looking selfies. You are all good people and deserve and award or something.